I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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