I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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