I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize