She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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