We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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