So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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