The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Someone came in the potted fern
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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