I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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