Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
