your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
