I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
