I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
