Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I need a beard to bite.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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