WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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