i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
