we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
