You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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