If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
