Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I need a burrito and a hug.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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