did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
