Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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