sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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