is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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