The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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