Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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