p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
