we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
