You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
