Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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