Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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