I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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