i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
