That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
