Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
