He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
