We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
