I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
