I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
