why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
