i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
