I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
