We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize