it wasn't lemon gatorade
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
