I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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