I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
