Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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