i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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