The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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