Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
