I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
