he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
