I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
