the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
