Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
