I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
