There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
