that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
