No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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