OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
