meet me or not, i'm out of control
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
