Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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