We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize