What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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