it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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